Scars and Stars

Last night again, sitting outside afterwards,
shaking bundled, and all I could think was “I’m
drinking stars again. My mouth is full of stars.”
Sassi made me beg for a cigarette and I
laughed and squirmed on the ground repeating
“please? please?” until she laughed to
and told me I didn’t beg prettily enough and I
explained I didn’t know how else to do it.
Dennis told me of how Japanese girls would be
tied up to go to sleep and I almost longed to
try it, for I felt safe in the ropes as
I don’t in my own bed, like inside that
bondageI had re-entered the world that
exists under the blankets when you’re little
enough to pull them over your head and lie
with stuffed animals in the cave at
the bottom. In ropes I would not need
to sleep with my hands curled over my
mouth.


02.13.00
12.15.03